


it all adds up

by weatheredlaw



Series: all the stars [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Not Canon Compliant, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 14:05:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4831889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weatheredlaw/pseuds/weatheredlaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ladan and Bull grow close. It causes a misunderstanding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it all adds up

She had heard of the Chargers through her work with the Valo-kas. They were considered talented, but of a different caliber. Afterall, the Iron Bull was of the Qun, it made a difference. It _mattered._ Stories about Bull and his Chargers were great and varied. They often seemed exaggerated, but Ladan wouldn't have put it past them to have done so many of the things they'd done. Still, they were not hired to work at the Conclave, and the Valo-kas were. That mattered, too.

Or it did, until they were all vaporized, spit back up onto this earth like they hadn't been important, like their lives had been _nothing._ Ladan rolled over in the tiny bed she'd been given at Haven. It was too small, her horns butted against the headboard, and she got up. No more of this, she thought. She was heading to the Storm Coast tomorrow to meet the Chargers, per the request of a rather handsome looking 'Vint. Da had always said you couldn't trust a 'Vint, the one pretense of his upbringing that he clung to. Ma always said everyone deserved a second chance.

"'Cept for a dragon," da would say, and ma would laugh, and it would be alright. 

She opened the door to their makeshift war room carefully, expecting it to be deserted, but instead, finding Cullen and Josephine sitting together, toying with the pieces of their map. They both looked up, almost ashamed. Ladan tried a smile.

"Um. Hello."

"Herald." Josephine's voice squeaked and she stood up. "You are...I mean. It is...late. To be awake."

"It is."

"I'll just...I'll just go, then." Cullen nodded between them and made a mad rush for the door, nearly tripping on his own boots. "Pardon me," he said, and disappeared. Ladan stared after him until she heard Josephine begin putting things away and turned around.

"Is everything alright?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes. Of course. There is nothing to worry about, regarding myself and the Commander. We were simply...strategizing." Ladan sighed. She was too tired to pry, so she nodded and took a seat in front of the table. There was a jaunty little marker over the Storm Coast, and Josephine noticed her gaze. "I have heard of these Chargers. Their services would be useful."

"We had stories about them, back in the Valo-kas."

"The Iron Bull is Qunari?"

"He's of the Qun," she said quietly, and rested her chin on her arms. 

"Are you...nervous?" Ladan shrugged. "Would you prefer that I left you alone?" Josephine asked gently. Ladan nodded. "Of course. I will see you at sunrise." Josephine gathered her things and left the room in a cloud of perfume and ink. She looked after her, waiting until the door shut before she rested her head completely on the table beneath her, eyes fixed on the little point at the coast, and finally, for the first time in many days, fell into a deep sleep.

 

 

 

"This is fun," Varric muttered, looking out over the coast. "You know that's Kirkwall on the other side." He gave Ladan a soft nudge. "Home of homes."

"Yes," Cassandra said dryly. "We are all aware how you feel about your city. If we could keep moving." She kicked a rock down the slope of the hill, grimacing at the angle of it. "Perhaps there is another way down." 

They took the long route, with Vivienne musing on the brutishness of the place, how apropos it was to meet a band of mercenaries here. Cassandra and Varric ignored her, and one another. Ladan didn't mind the mage's musings -- she found the place to be quite beautiful. In some ways, it made her think of home.

They heard the clatter of swords and the bellow of battle before they turned and saw it. Ladan's heart leapt into her throat -- how long had to been since she'd lost her comrades at the Conclave? Since she'd seen her parents? To see another qunari, one of her own, even if she was a _runt_ of a Vashoth, and he, a great horned leader, stalwart follower of the Qun, accompanied by elves, 'Vints, dwarves -- he was magnificent.

He was also covered in blood. His entire party was. When they'd ended the fight, the Iron Bull set down his axe and leaned in close to get a good look at her. "You're small," he said, then burst into laughter. "You're Adaar."

"Ladan," she said. 

"Good name." Bull shifted on his feet. "You got the message from my Lieutenant, then."

"I did. My commander things you'd make an excellent addition. We'd welcome any assistance we can get."

"I can promise you'll get a decent level of professionalism, but I can't promise it'll be consistent." The Bull stuck out his hand, and Ladan took it. "You fight good, _imekari._ " She flushed at the name -- Behsaad had been the last to call her that. Everyone else, just _runt._ And now _Herald._ Bull had a firm grip, and it brought the memory of home so close she almost choked on it. But she remained standing, and agreed to meet Bull back at Haven. 

Varric had noticed.

"Been a while since you've met someone of the Qun," he said quietly.

"You could say that," Ladan murmured. Varric nodded, and the rest of the trip was made in silence.

 

 

 

She didn't bring him with her too many times. Cassandra was a different kind of warrior, had skills that paired well with Varric, and even Sera. She brought Vivienne, but more frequently Solas, who enjoyed their trips immensely. Ladan had liked Solas from the start, and he wondered about her place in the world as Vashoth, how it differed from Tal-Vashoth, what it was like to know her parents the way she did. Da would have liked Solas -- he was always asking questions. 

But when she came back, when the other residents of Haven were often too much, staring up at her like fools, quipping to her about how they didn't know too many qunari like she -- Ladan found herself sitting in the tent with the Chargers, trading stories. Their laughter was infectious, their stories too bold and daring to be false. Bull always sat next to her, always encouraged her to talk. "You share these things, it makes it a little easier."

She told them about being hired to work at the Conclave, and then she drank herself into a stupor.

Only the other qunari in the camp could carry her back to her room.

"Do you hate what I am?" she asked, feeling so small. 

"Vashoth?" She nodded. "No, _imekari._ I don't."

"But we're so different."

Bull sighed and kneeled down by her bed. "You and your men were at that Conclave. You made it out. You are alive. Your heart beats, same as mine. We're not so different, flower."

Ladan sighed. "Ma calls me that."

"Your ma is a good woman, I suspect." He stood. "Sleep. We have great things to do tomorrow." He hesitated before standing, and put a sturdy hand on her shoulder to give it a good squeeze. Ladan smiled, and drifted off to the sounds of his heavy boots leaving her room, and the door closing shut behind him. 

 

 

 

She liked this other 'Vint, the mage with the fabulous mustache. She liked his voice, the lilting tones of it, the way it seemed to mask a hundred secrets. Alexius was messing with things he shouldn't have been messing with, so much so that his own son thought it was in poor taste. Dorian Pavus wanted to help, and Ladan was in no position to refuse him. She brought Bull with her this time, but she didn't know why. There was something about the way he was worried, the way he offered to send Chargers with her as backup.

"You could go with me. I'm bringing Varric," she said, and he'd accepted quickly. Ladan wasn't sure why, but it felt good to have him there. Felt right. 

"Ah, yes," Dorian muttered. "Just what we needed to quell the psychotic woes of a powerful Tevinter mage. _Two_ qunari. And one isn't even living under the Qun."

"Does that make you uneasy, 'Vint?"

"Me? No, of course not. Gives me a bit of indigestion, but that could have been those horrid things they called potatoes I ate this morning." He burped for emphasis, but smiled at her. He was doing that thing again, that thing where he cracked jokes at his own expense to avoid telling the truth. Ladan knew it well. Could spot it right off the bat. She suspected Bull did, too, because he kept poking, smile growing broader with every mile they inched closer to Redcliffe. 

She should have known that it wasn't going to go well. All that work, and what did they have to show for it? A magister with a shaky grasp of time magic. Ladan didn't know what to do, she didn't see Dorian until he was suddenly there, casting his spell, wrapping them up in the wobbling green light. And, just like that, everything else was gone. 

"It's that old tune," Dorian said. " _Let's play with magic we don't understand, it'll make us incredibly powerful._ " Ladan wasn't sure if this was what he meant -- messing with time, shredding it to do, what? She hadn't made much sense of Alexius' plan, but Dorian seemed confident enough as they waded through water, dispatching random Venatori here and there. She found out that Leliana was in the castle, that Varric and Bull were there and alive. She felt her heart hammer in her chest, and, though it was hard to leave Fiona behind, she did, with the promise that they would fix things. Soon.

Ladan threw open the door to one of the wings of the prison, immediately catching the quiet hum of Varric's voice. She rushed to him, rattled the bars of his cell. "Varric!"

"Andraste's sacred knickers, you're alive!" He stood up, rattling back and laughing. "Holy shit, how'd you escape?"

"We didn't," Dorian said, watching as Ladan carefully unlocked the cell door. "Alexius sent us forward in time."

Varric groaned, massaging a crick in his neck. "You ever notice that everything that happens to you is weird?"

Ladan nodded, rummaging around to find the crossbow they'd dug out of a side room earlier. "I'm starting to."

 

 

 

" _Three hundred bottles of beer on the wall. Three hundred bottles of beer--_ " 

" _Bull!_ "

" _Imekari._ " He gripped the bars and grinned at her. "You're not dead. You _should_ be dead. There was a burn mark and everything."

"I'm telling you," Varric said. "Everything that happens to you is weird."

"I agree with the dwarf." Bull watched Ladan unlock the door, stretching when it finally opened. "How's everything going, 'Vint?"

"Alexius sent us forward in time, red lyrium is growing out of the walls, we've been told this Elder One marched through the south with an army of demons." Dorian ticked them all off with a smile. "Not too bad, really."

"Yeah, it's been dandy." Bull hefted the maul Varric handed him with a grin. "What's the plan?"

Ladan shrugged. "Find Alexius and figure out what happened. Maybe kill him. If you find anything really nice, stuff it in your pockets."

"Like flatware?"

"Like flatware."

Dorian sighed. "Two qunari mercenaries walked into a castle. Nothing remained."

"Not even dignity?"

"Especially that."

 

 

 

Later, she woke up in her bed and all she could see was red, red smoke. Eyes like hot coals. The rigid timbor of Bull's voice, of Varric's rasp, mutated into something else. She crawled out of bed and put on her boots, stomping into the snow. She saw him, horns punching out of the landscape against the moonlight, a tankard in his hand.

" _Imekari._ "

"It's late for a drink."

"Technically, it's early, now." He pointed toward the horizon, and Ladan saw the edges of sunrise. "Dorian told me it was bad. That future."

"Yes."

"Wouldn't give me the details." He looked at her. "You won't either, will you?" She shook her head. "Probably for the best. You can't let it get to you, boss."

"Not even for a bit? The sun's still down."

He chuckled and bumped her shoulder with his. "Not for long." They sat together until they heard the first sounds coming from the forge, and Bull stood to toss his empty cup into the tent, waking the Charges. They shouted and swore, tossing things after him into the snow. He sighed. "There's no end to it, is there?"

"Doesn't seem so."

"Maybe you should get a few more hours of shut-eye in," he suggested. "I think you've earned the day off."

Ladan shook her head. "No, I can't. I've got to check on the mages, and Cullen wants to meet. We need to expand our reach in the Hinterlands, I need--"

"It can be done later," Bull said, firmly, and put a hand on her shoulder. "Right now, you need to rest."

"But I--"

"You're no good to anyone if you're bone tired. Go." 

Ladan flushed. She felt like the child he called her and ducked under his gaze before looking him straight in the eye.

"I will be fine," she said, rolling her shoulders back and heading to find Cassandra. Behind her, Krem said something very quiet, but Bull didn't respond. 

She already had a da. She didn't need another.

 

 

 

"You know--" Varric leaned forward, that glint in his eye. "Cullen's men say a lot of things about you."

Ladan didn't look at him, instead keeping her focus on the map in her hands. Beside her, Dorian chuckled. "Oh? What do they say about our fearless leader?"

"A lot of things. Some of it involving the Iron Bull."

Ladan's fingers clenched the sides of the map, nearly ripping it.

"Is it them?" she snapped. "Or are you being a deplorable _gossip?_ " Varric flinched and drew back. "Is it because of who I am? I walk into camp so I must want to roll with the first qunari I find?"

"No, I--"

"The next time you hear gossip of the sort, _do something_. You've a wicked tongue, Master Tethras. Don't pretend you can't use it on my account." She folded the map and stood. "Good night, gentlemen."

Varric had the good sense to look embarrassed, but he nodded and gave her a little wave. 

In the morning, he'd made breakfast, and gave her a quick, low apology. Varric was earnest, and kind, and Ladan had already forgiven him by the time she'd gone to sleep, but she still cuffed the back of his neck and hauled him in, wrapping her arms around him until he wheezed. 

It made her think, though, all the same. She thought about Bull, about how kind he was, how he reminded her so much of home, even though he looked and sounded nothing like it. She did not desire him, and he called her _flower_ too often for it to be anything more than exactly what she knew it to be. And besides -- 

She wasn't really all that fond of men anyway.

 

 

 

She knew their time at Haven couldn't last long. Maybe it was her superstition about names. Maybe it was the mark on her hand, the thing this creature called an anchor. Ladan didn't know. What she knew was that it was cold, biting cold. She shivered as she emerged, finally, from the caves, and began marching. It was all she could think to do. Perhaps it would be where she died, which seemed a pity.

_Sweet one. Little thing. Ladan._

Ma would cry. Da would, too. She was a fool. She had always been a fool. A fool of a girl, a fool of a Vashoth, a fool of a qunari. 

A fool of a leader.

She fell to her knees.

"There once was a daughter who had no sense." She laughed. The Elder one had brought a dragon with him. She finally had a dragon story, and now no one would hear it. The wind cut her lips, and she tasted a constant stream of blood in her mouth. She fell. Rested her head, her body. How far had she walked? How long would it take to freeze to death? 

"There you are, _imekari._ " The Bull. Iron Bull. He bent down and he lifted her up. _Warm like da,_ she thought. " _Found her!_ "

She wanted to tell him that he smelled like home -- salt air and woodsmoke and licorice -- but she knew she was crafting it, building a small comfort. She curled in close, listened to Cullen and the others call for her. 

When she woke, Mother Giselle sat over her, cleaning her face with a warm rag.

"Shh. You need rest."

"They've been at it for hours."

"They have that luxury, thanks to you." She smiled and handed her a warm cup of something. "You are lucky to be alive. The Iron Bull and his Chargers searched alone for some time." 

"Bull?"

"Yes. He did not believe for a moment you were dead. None of us wanted to, but he was adamant." 

Ladan looked across the camp to the place where the Chargers and Bull sat around their fire. He caught her gaze, and shifted, nudging Krem. The lieutenant smiled and raised his cup, and the Chargers shout went up. Ladan smiled.

 

 

 

It took her some time after they reached Skyhold to get settled, but when she did, Bull seemed to know she wanted to talk. He met her in the dungeon, and they stood by the great hold in its side, looking out over the mountains. 

"This place is wounded," he said. "Lot like us."

"We've lost so many."

"But gained many more," he pointed out. "Cullen's forces are swelling. We'll need them."

"Yes." Ladan turned to him. "You found me," she said quietly. "You and your boys."

"We knew you weren't gone, boss."

"Varric said they talk about us."

"I know. I've heard it."

She ducked her head. "They think we're...we're lovers."

"I know that, too."

"But I--"

Bull held up a hand. " _Imekari._ I am aware of how you feel about me. I know what you see in me. I know what you want. I also know you've got eyes for a certain filthy mouthed elf." He winked at her, and Ladan blushed. "I don't say it a lot, but I sometimes...think about the others. The Qun, the Vashoth. I know you miss home, and I know you miss your family. Family is what you make of it, when and wherever you'd like it to be." He looked down at her. "If you would let me, I would be your family."

"I would like that."

He grinned and thumped her back. "You should know it comes with about a dozen little beasties, all clamoring for attention."

"Your Chargers helped save us. I'll adopt them any day."

"That's good to know boss." He put an arm around her shoulder, and they walked back upstairs and into the hall. "That's good to know."


End file.
